happy holidays... yes they really are.

We got to Winnipeg about 9 PM on Christmas Eve and stayed up with everyone that we hadn't seen since summer. My hair, which I thought was a pretty radical change didn't get much notice. I guess that makes sense since it looks different every time they see me.



Here's a picture of me and the new do, finally, not that you can really see it, and not that it's the most exciting thing in the picture... That's our new digital SLR we got for ourselves for Christmas. Yay for boxing day shopping in the city! I also got a new jacket and some dress pants and Sean got new shoes. But this camera. Oh, boy, is it fun. I like it a lot!!! We've been eyeing these up and pricing them out for a long time now.

Christmas was great - mom and dad and us three kids and our spouses and kids. Perfect. We shopped boxing day then most everyone was back for supper all together; today I watched the boys and then everyone was back together for supper. Tomorrow our aunt and cousins and kids will be here for supper too. Like my dad said at the table tonight - I don't think we've stopped eating! Happy Holidays!!

Funny story. My Dad has a PS3. Yeah, it's Papa's toy. Sean and Dave have been playing the racing game on it, and last night, Dave came back after he took Jess and the boys home (at 11!) So M went to bed at 11, Mom crashed at 12, I lasted till 1, and Sean and Dave and my Dad stayed up playing until 6:30 AM. We stay in the basement here, so I kept waking up to laughter - they had so much fun their stomachs hurt from laughing so much. At least I knew where Sean was - Jess woke up at 6:30 and thought that if Dave had been in an accident, someone would have called her, but she couldn't think of why he would have slept over here... She didn't consider that they were playing all night! And Mom commented that she knows Dad has been up late again when the paper is already in when she gets up!



That's them at what turned out to be the start of the marathon. And here's one of all the cousins.



So happy holidays to you all; hope they are as wonderful and restful and fun as ours.

Merry Christmas!

Just a wish for a very Merry Christmas before we head off to family!

This is a little something I made playing around in photoshop with the new Christmas brushes I got from scrapnfonts. (for free!) I got photoshop and a pen tablet last Christmas and haven't really done enough playing around with it...

don't mean to be greedy...

At church this morning my friend Karen asks M, "Did you write a letter to Santa?"
"Yeah...?"
"And did you say, 'I don't mean to be greedy'? And that you only get presents at Christmas and on your birthday?"
"Yeah...?"
"And you drew pictures on it?"
"Yeah, was it in the paper?" (She sent it in to the paper because then 'Santa' would write back, and they might even publish it.)
"No, we saw Santa read it on TV! On channel 7 there's a Santa that reads kid's letters and a lady dressed as an elf that helps him and they discuss the things that kids ask for (like a pony is pretty big and might not fit on the sleigh, so maybe that's not the best idea...) Chrissy thought it was the M we knew and I said, 'Oh, there's probably a lot of M's out there' but she recognized your handwriting, so we thought we'd check."

Blushing M and laughing me.

The Other Blogs

I have a blog that I set up as our young adult website at church. You can check that out here - I posted a big long one last night about books - what I'm reading and some new ones I just got to read and share. I don't write on there as much as here, because no one ever checks it out. I am going to try to change that in the next few months, I think, so I'd better have some good posts worth reading on there.

I also kept this blog about my trip to Kenya this year. I added one post to it this fall when I got to see some of the people again that I met there, but it's sort of a done deal. Interesting stories, I think - maybe I'll turn it into one of those blog books... Hmmm - there's an idea.

Now I'm off to take pictures of all the goodies I'm taking over for Christmas #1 tonight! Show you those later.

new little baby...

Congrats to our good friends Byron and Lori who had their baby on Sunday, December 14. Kaleb James was 9 days overdue and a day short of being induced. I got to see him the next morning, and on day two, too. So cute. They got photos done already, and they're fabulous. Check out Paper Moon Photography and have a look!!

the published one...

This is the one that got published in the edition of Canadian Scrapbooker that just came out. I like it - I love that it got published and it's nothing but cardstock, a couple of photos and a pen.

Have you ever thought I was blond? Yeah, me neither.

Cans for Comments... Check out this blog and leave a comment - Courtney is donating one can of food for each comment left on her blog this weekend. I saw that on Kayla's blog and she said she's matching each can that Courtney buys. What fabulous ideas. And these are girls who actually have readers on their blogs. lol.

Christmas Festivities... We went to Sean's work Christmas party last night. Each year they go to the small business Christmas party that the center of the arts puts on - good food, sketchy comedian, terrible sounding music with not many people on the dance floor. At least I know a few people a little better now that this is my third one.

The kid's Christmas piano recital was this week - she did not too bad - was the only one who didn't take their book up with them! The residents at the senior's home where they usually have it were sick, so it was at the church instead (her teacher goes to the same church as us) and so she got to play the big shiny black grand piano up on stage there. She's done that once before at the year end recital in June. That was Tuesday, and Wednesday her Girl Guide group went carolling at a senior's apartment. Tomorrow her choir at church is singing with the adult choir in both morning services and their children's concert is in the evening. They had a rehearsal for those this morning, and we had to pick her up early from the birthday party sleepover for that - and she missed swimming... three things at once. And neither Sean nor I had anything today. Other than brunch and a little Christmas shopping while she was busy. Then Wednesday is the school "Winter Concert." One week full of Christmas pagentry and goodness. Grandpa and two sets of aunts and uncles and two cousins came to the piano deal, and the Ward Grandparents are going to make it to the church one. Nice to have the Aitkens in town and sharing church and school concerts now!

Wish List... This is too funny. I read it and laughed the first time, then when I picked it up again this week (to carry shopping with me) I laughed and thought "I have to put this on my blog!" I should explain so it doesn't just seem pathetic - M is 9, and I think very bright, but she is in French Immersion, and they have yet to spend time in school on much English spelling. So here in all it's phonetic goodness, is my daughter's wish list:

1. Barbie make your own Lip gloss
2. 2008 cristamas doll
3. skip it
4. Biskut my fur real friend
5. tummbuls my rollover pup fur real friend
6. Webkinz
7. chees strings
8. fruit gushers
9. Epets (stuff yes you get it.)
10. Tamagishie
11. Littelest pet shop
12. fish
13. Odissy
14. Books
15. cds
16. slypers
17. cd holder
18. cloths
19. Barbies
20. polly pokets
21. Ponnies
22. money
23. calenders
24. shoes
25. paints
26. paper (Rysikled)
27. comik's
28. camira
29. sterio
30. fabrik
31. work serch
32. sadoku
33. markers
34. purs
35. Tikets for Ann of green gabils The musikl at the globle theater
36. more money!

And just for the record, she was not encouraged to write up a list... it might be the first time she's done this. I have to admit though that I have found it helpful! (If you find this helpful also, email me and I'll let you know what I've already got checked off!) She saw an ad in the paper telling kids to write to Santa there and that he'd write back. So she did, and got her reply yesterday. She commented that he didn't even use her name, so she's pretty sure it was photocopied and all the kids got the same one. She doesn't even believe in Santa.

New Look... One last note for tonight - I finally went and got something done with my hair. I was ready for it about 3 weeks ago. It's chopped off - it had gotten quite long - and it's darker underneath, and quite a bit lighter on top. I won't say blond, but I think you're in for a shock when I come for Christmas!! I'm still a little shocked when ever I see my reflection. I won't say I love it, but I am very happy with a change. I'll probably change it up again in a couple of months. Maybe I'll take a picture tomorrow and post it for you. And speaking of pictures, we got M's back (retakes again) so you'll get yours (if you're family!) when we see you next.

Good night, and may you have a blessed restful holy Sabbath tomorrow.

tree decorating postponed due to minor fire...

Monday night I thought we were finally going to set up the tree. We don't have any hard and fast traditions about when we do this, but I like the first weekend in December. Not too early, but up long enough to be able to anticipate Christmas. Plus gifts are getting wrapped and there's somewhere to put them...

But this year's been busy for some reason. So Monday was open, I had eggnog in the fridge, and decided to whip up a few eggnog lattes while Madeline was clearing supper off the table. First problem was that we were out of espresso beans. Not a big deal, we decided just to make them with coffee. (I ground some Java House beans from Kenya for it - yum!) The coffee maker has issues. We have (sorry, had - there's some foreshadowing for ya) a decent coffee maker / milk frother / espresso maker combo that we got as a wedding present, which decided a while ago that the warranty must be up and that it would quit working. Sean, being handy as well as handsome, took it apart, figured it out the problem and fixed it. The only catch was that you had to turn it off as soon as your pot was made, since it would no longer do that on its own. He had made a couple of pots since the fix; I had not. So I made the coffee, and turned it off when it finished, but apparently not quite soon enough, because something melted through somewhere and got places hot that were not supposed to be hot and caused a little smoke to become a lot of smoke... The child was banished to the basement to save her lungs, the hero husband grabbed the whole coffee maker deal (after I saved the coffee) to take it outside and I grabbed the key to unlock the front door. As the hero lifted the coffee maker, the oxygen mixed with the heat and fuel source and turned our microwave stand (on which the coffee pot sat) into a candle. Minor fire. Coffee pot out into the snow. Oven mitt on fire to extinguish it. Both doors open, fan in the window. House temperature plummeting.

The smoke alarms never made a peep.

Instead of setting up the tree, we spent the evening, delicious homemade eggnog lattes in hand, at multiple stores picking up all new smoke detectors and a new microwave stand. The child went to bed late, the tree is still in the box in the corner, and the living room was used as a workshop to put together the new bigger and better furniture.

And so instead of a tree, I have a new kitchen and a story.
And I still have two weeks before Christmas to try again.

Google Reader

Have I mentioned Google Reader to you? It's a great way to keep up with blogs that I like to follow - I just open the reader (I have it bookmarked right under blogs) and it shows me what's new in the blogs I'm interested in. I've been reading mostly stuff by scrapbooking people, but I'm starting to remember other blogs that I wish I was remembering to read more often...

Like this one. The Kennys are a family that we fell in love with when we were in Kenya this spring. It was so good tonight to catch up on all the stuff I haven't read yet. I love seeing some familiar faces and places in their pictures, too. It helps to not see that trip as an isolated time, but as a chance to step into a ministry and into lives that continue on long after we've left.

**********

I added a music player. :) I've wanted to do that for a while. Let me know if the auto start is annoying... I've heard it can be if you normally browse with tunes in the background. (It was while I was editing a few things on the blog and every time I opened a new window, a new song would start over top of the one already playing!) Also, let me know what you are listening to these days - I'd love to check out some new stuff. Two of the songs on my short list are ones I heard on other blogs first...

Advent Conspiracy and other stuff.

First, check out this video. Really.



Powerful, hey? So what 'cha going to do about it???

**********

I was surfing blogs on SIS to find one with tunes so I can add some to mine, and I saw a couple of girls had done this quiz and said the results were amazing. So I took it, and they are quite accurate. And you can post your results on your blog... but I'm not sure I know you well enough to post that. That would be some good vulnerability there, but nope, sorry.

But do try it yourself!! The COLOR QUIZ...

It's been a good Saturday - Sean and I spent the whole day together, doing nothing and taking M with the social life to swimming this morning, a swimming birthday party this afternoon, and a bowling birthday party this evening. I asked her if she knew what it said to me that she gets asked to all these birthday parties (there's another one next weekend, too...) She said, "That's I'm a nice person and a good friend and they like having me around?" Bingo.

I've been playing in my room (sorry, STUDIO!) today, trying to figure out how to rearrange it. I've also been working on magnets to sell (just got an order for 6 sets from Janet at work) and the most amazing Christmas gift ever (hopefully!), but I've been tidying and tossing stuff and moving stuff too, so I can get rid of the extra bookshelf and see if I can make better use of my space. I have a feeling that this will be a long process.

So this most amazing Christmas gift? I can't wait till it's done and I can photograph it to share with you after the holidays. I think it's cool, and I've been working on it all year. Little cost money wise, but big cost time wise. The best kind of gift, I think.

using the new technology...

to post a new page. I'm down in my "studio" and I scanned my new pages on my new scanner. It works, and I can figure it out - they are so simple these days.

So these are the two I finished this week (I did finish another for my wedding book, but I'm not posting those. For the family, I may bring it out at Christmas...)

I love this first comic book one - terrible pictures and plain black & white, but so much fun - and a great story!



And I don't LOVE this one, but it tells what I was thinking when I took this picture, and that's what counts.



I forgot that when I do this process upstairs, I shrink them down first... oops - those are big files!

PUBLISHED!!

Sean gets a lot of packages in the mail because of stuff he orders for his car... today I checked the mail, and there was a package pick up slip, for him, and another package... for ME! From Canadian Scrapbooker, with a copy of the winter edition coming out right away with my page in it! Yay! I was pretty stoked about that. When I get on the other computer, I'll post the page. Madeline still wants to be published (this one's of Sean), but now she wants a cover. Yeah, right, kid. Dream on! My page is on page 117, if you see the magazine and want to check it out...

I'm off to finish the price list for my craft sale on Saturday - the stuff's all made, but I'm thinking I could be in the mood for making a few more cards for the stash. I love that most of the stuff I made is stuff I could use myself if it doesn't sell, like the gift bags and the cards. Watch - they'll sell out and I'll be left with all the magic bags and magnets.

More machinery - we bought a Cricket the other week! They were on sale, and a group at the church is going to fund it for our scrapbooking group (thanks, ladies!!) We picked up a second cartridge yesterday, too, for 80% off at Michaels. I don't think I'd pay any more for them than that, but these two should do us for quite a while. If I ever bring it home to use, I'll have wall to wall machines down in my studio with the laptop and printer and sewing machine and serger! I really have to rethink the layout of that room.

flowers and toys and photos...

Here's a few snaps to illustrate my last month. This one is of the first snow. M's looking all slouchy trying to catch some flakes on her tongue - I love the narnia-esque feel of this shot through the front window.

I've been sort of busy with work - a new Bible study is filling one more night per week, and I'm in charge of the big Christmas banquet now. That combined with making stuff for the craft sale this weekend (I'm almost ready!) and trying to get around to finishing this paper have made my last month or so full. Not busy, and not stressed, which is really nice. But it is full. And I think life might continue to be full until January. Or April. Or someday. (That's why I have to enjoy it now!)

I got a new phone. My plan was up for renewal, so I upgraded my phone. For $0. Love that! And it's a dual flip with a full keyboard... still figuring out all the shortcuts, but it's kinda fun. And THEN - we've been talking about getting a laptop for a long time, and the time just seemed right, and we can use it now with me trying to work on papers in the evenings while Sean gets his only chance to be online... Doesn't seem right that we need two, but yeah. And it came with a *free* printer scanner copier machine that's fun, too!



November 18 is our anniversary - 2 years this year! We went out on the weekend before, since the 18th fell on a Tuesday, which happens to be the night of the new study I lead at the church. So we went for massages at Jane's Day Spa where my friend Kari works, then out for dinner, then out to another new restaurant to check it out for dessert. Just a nice night out. On Tuesday he surprised me with flowers. Our friend January owns a flowershop and does some great work. I should mention that I took this shot yesterday - this bouquet is almost a week old in this picture, and it still looks great!



Ok, that's it for tonight - remind me to blog about Lifehouse and the great show we saw... Later!

100 things...

I saw this on two different blogs today (by SIS bloggers...)
The ones I have done are in bold.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise (On the Rhine in Germany)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelos David (I have been to Florence, though!)
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance (but never for myself)
47. Had your portrait painted (does by my daughter count??)
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling (nowhere exciting, tho)
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

why do i need a blog when there's facebook?

I've finally got some new layouts to upload, and they're going here and on facebook and on SIStv... Mostly different audiences, I guess.

SO - love these new ones. Got lots of fun new stuff, as you saw in the last post. Now everything's got flowers on it! Hanging with the girls this week I mostly made fun cards with flowers for the sale.

This one's been in the works for a while, but I'm finally happy with it. The new flowers were the perfect thing for the title!



And I love this picture of Levi, so I had to get it in an album. New stamp and white ink. And the flowers...



And finally, this one - I love the summer part - I painted grunge board letters to match the kid's shirts, and it turned out better than I expected. Fun.



I want a new camera. (I almost said need, but it's NOT a NEED...) This one has had too many issues - look at how it's fading to black in the corners now. I have my eye on a Nikon D60. Mmmm.

This is why I blog - I throw the pics on fb, but none of the me stuff. This is me, all for you, an invisible audience. My imaginary friends. LOL.

speaking...

I spoke today at the Ladies' Coffee Connection at church. My faith story. Made lots of people cry. Sorry about that...! I thought I'd just get up there, read it off and get it over with. Yeah, right. God hits the cry button and off I go, but it's honest emotion, and I'm sure it moves people. I'm not doing it to manipulate people's emotions, but it does work that way! Glad it's done. Hope it made some people think. That'll be the Holy Spirit's job now.

New Stash! and an update on the stash to sell

On Tuesday we went on a field trip to a scrapbooking store located in a basement on South Albert. I like her selection of embellishments. I spent a little bit of cash.

On Wednesday, we went to Scrapbookers Delight, which is closing their doors forever tomorrow. Sad day. I stocked up on Bazzill, and I should be good for at least a year. Unless maybe I start scrapbooking more than I shop for supplies!!!

Here's a glimpse at what I got - watch for it on layouts to come! Sean's gone for a couple of days, so I'm thinking it's playtime down in the studio.



I really like Bazzill cardstock.



Here's a closer look at my new fun stuff!



Just for a laugh, I got a shot of our Chevy Ventures, all lined up outside the Accent Stitchery, Framing and Scrapbooking store...!



Finally, here's a shot of the two other patterns that I made gift bags out of. I sewed them up last night and tonight and they're all done! Now I have to get sewing the magic bag insides - I brought home the filler from the farm after Thanksgiving.



Actually, I'll leave you with one more picture - this beautiful tree is beside the church, and I can see it from my office window. I love that.

Autumn

Here's me doing my homework for the blog class... writing about autumn. I think I'll just say this - Fall is awesome when it's warm and not windy and colorful... then this happens.


Yep - we drove out to the farm for Thanksgiving IN A BLIZZARD.

BUT - It gave Sean a chance to be a hero and pull a couple of trucks out of the ditch. Together - one was towing the other. And Sean saved their day. :)

First things for the Show!

I said I was going to post pictures as things get made... here's the gift bags I made tonight. I've got two other fabrics to cut into (that I got on sale at the end of last season!) and there are a few bags that I made last year that I never used; I'll throw those in for the variety. And these are great, too, because I'll just use what I don't sell!

I had class this weekend, and sketched out about 10 layouts while I was trying to stay awake... Just ordered some photos that I'll need for them, too, so on Tuesday when we get together, I'll be ready to go. Unless I do them all up on Monday when I'm at home! It will be nice to relax on my day off and not worry about papers. I did two biggies in the last month, so I'll take a few days to breathe before the next one.

We're going on a FIELD TRIP on Tuesday with the scrappers! We're all looking forward to going down south and checking out the lady that sells out of her basement. She had a storefront for a while, but had just moved it home when I discovered her. None of the others have been there, so I'm happy to take them.

Craft Sale

I'm going in my first craft sale next month. Saturday, November 29th in Vibank, from 10-4. As I get stuff done for it, I'll post it up here so if you want something and can't make it to Vibank, you can put in an order...

Wednesday's Homework

We've had homework every day for this 'Bling out Your Blog' class that I'm taking, and I've been bad. I've done it, but cheating-like. Monday we were supposed to blog about Autumn, and Tuesday we were supposed to let song lyrics inspire what we blogged... Adding a poll about what your favorite part of fall is, and linking back to this post inspired by song lyrics from a couple weeks ago is still doing my homework, isn't it?

My excuse - I've been too busy with the BLING part! It's been fun playing around with the layout and changing things up.

I will come back to that other homework. I will.

And now Wednesday's homework: I have to invite you to be involved! My experiences with offering a challenge (in real life, yet!) were a smashing success (read that with lots of sarcasm and check out this post) so I'm making this nice and easy. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think of the blog, or vote on my poll. Super simple, hey? I just want to know you were here, and who you are (and why the heck you're reading my blog!)

Thanks for playing and humoring me.

All about Brandie

Brandie had sweet baby Adrian Cole on September 7 - right on her due date! I made this quilt for her, and got it done to give to her yesterday, on his one month day.


And this is a layout I did of them - we were hanging out the Friday night before he was born,and then I got to meet him on the Sunday!

bling...!

I talked to my sister today, and SHE was the one who voted on my poll. Not Mom. LOL By the way, Happy Birthday Jess! And Happy Birthday Mom!

I signed up for an online class! It goes all this week, and I'm pretty excited about it - it's called Bling out your Blog and it's by Kimberly Brimall, who is one of the fashionistas on SISTV. Now the pressure's on! I've told you about it, so you'll be watching for some great changes... We'll see what we can do!

live goodie bags?

M had two birthday parties this weekend.

She started a new school this year because they moved the french immersion out of the school down the street, and now she gets to ride on the bus. Very exciting. She's in grade 4, is confident, and all her friends and french teachers moved to the same school, so it was a pretty easy transition. She's got most of the same girls she's been friends with since kindergarten in her class, but now there are 20 new friends! Good thing she's so social. Which, we learned, means more birthday parties to go to.

Today was a 3 hour Hannah Montana karoke party (and apparently she rocked the mic - no suprise there). Friday night till Saturday noon was a sleepover on a farm, and they had Petcetera come out with 10 animals for the girls to see / hold / get slithered on (yes they had a snake). On the farm they have lots of other animals, too - and guess what the goodie bag was for this animal themed party? The goodie bag for this one was a fish. A blue beta fish in a big jar that they got to decorate themselves.


M has wanted a pet forever. We keep saying no. And now she has one. I'm kind of glad, actually. She's trying to prove she's reliable so she can get a camera with her birthday money. This will sure give her that chance! We went to the library yesterday so she could get out a book on pet fish and how to look after them...

one from this week

Layouts usually take me more than one sitting. I get the photos and background paper maybe, then play around with a basic idea, but it usually gets put back in the 'in progress' book a time or two until I am satisfied with the layout. This one I finally had all the pictures for last Tuesday (when we get together), printed off the title during the week and took it again this Tuesday and played around with the arrangement all morning until I finally decided I liked it. I'm not sure I like the white at the sides (although it looks a lot stranger on this white background than in real life!) Oh, well, it's done! And now I can go on to the next one that's in limbo. There's a few in there.

World Card Making Day

At our weekly scrapbooking get together last week, I took a couple of pages that I had put together of challenges from a dozen of my favorite challenge sites. **note - I have never actually participated in a challenge on any of these sites; I just like to check them out now and then.** So I circulated that to see if it inspired anyone - some people thought, "hey, cool" but no one jumped at the chance to stretch themselves, they just did what they brought with them to do. Which I understand. You pack what you're going to work on, and you don't have the photos, tools, colors, or whatever to do something different.

This week I gave them a verbal challenge - "This Saturday is World Card Making Day!" I told them, "So let's all make at least one card from our stash or scraps today!" I got a partially interested "Oh...?" a head tilt with questioning eyebrows, and the best, "Why? For who?" Ah, my friends make me laugh. And I am convinced that I do not need to spend my time coming up with challenges and fun things for them to experiment with; I simply need to unlock the door, set up the tables, and make sure the coffee's on.

In case YOU'RE interested, find more on World Card Making Day here.

***shudder***

I had an experience this morning.

One I wouldn't wish on anyone.

I had just done a good work out and jumped in the shower; I was still adjusting the temperature, so hadn't put the showerhead back up yet when all of a sudden I see a living crawling thing IN MY TUB. Not funny. My entire body tensed up and got more of a workout than doing Tae Bo Flex as I tried to wash the stupid grasshopper back down the drain it had just crawled from. I finally squashed it with one of the kid's toys so it was 1 - dead and 2 - in pieces small enough to go down the drain.

Yuck.

Okay, you can stop laughing now.

new pages

Our weekly scrapbooking get together has started up again. More people this year, which is good for more laughs. I hope we meet some new girls from the community through this.

Meeting weekly means I'm actually doing some pages... I have a bunch in progress, as usual; these are the two that are done and scanned.

Mom, is that you?

Ha ha! I laughed when I saw my poll today - one person voted! That's too funny. And a family member, too. I'm guessing my mom...

BIG WINNER!

Just had to brag a little about my amazing race car driver husband. He won a big race today - his third of the year. He's won more this year than any other season. So many cars - it's a big deal to take the top spot. I'm pretty proud of him. :)

making me happy today

A day off when I don't usually get one (I swapped Monday for Thursday this week).

Staying home.

Sunshine.

The yellow tree out the office window.

The new grass growing just beside the deck.

Laughing with my husband this morning.

Not being mad at the kid when I sent her out the door this morning.

Feeling relaxed.

scars are souvenirs you never lose

We had a big long conversation about scars this weekend while we were sitting in the hot tub at the retreat.

My favorite is a two inch scar across my left knee that I got when I was 8? 10? When I was a kid, anyway. We were out at our friends' acreage and I caught it on a carpet tack sticking out of the corner as I skipped down the steps and turned to go out the door. It was the 70's - people had carpet on the walls. Maybe that trend died because I wasn't the only one getting scarred up. Or maybe just because how could it possibly last? Maybe that was a drug induced trend...

One thing I remember is hobbling out on crutches to where the other kids were playing volleyball or something, and getting ZERO sympathy. They just wanted to play with the crutches.

Another thing I remember is my parents disagreeing about me going to the hospital to get stiches or not. The virdict was no - I ended up with 3 bandaids across it. And it's a big beautiful scar today. My favorite. And I do have a few.

Part of why I like it so much is because of the 'other story.' As a counselor at summer camp as a teenager, I'd tell the campers how I got my scar:

"Well," I'd say, hesitating, "I play soccer, right? And it's a fairly physical game... sometimes it gets a little rough... So after this one game, this girl is waiting for me in the parking lot after. She starts to push me a bit, and I'm trying to walk away, cause I don't want to fight, then she pulls out this knife..." At this point the girl's eyes are wide and staring. "So she slashes at me," I mimic it, "and got me here."

"Really?" they would ask, and I'd reply, "No, but it's a better story than how it really happened!"

Ah, that scar.

PS - The title is lyrics from the Goo Goo Dolls.

Brain Games

Found a site today when I went searching for brain games so that while I'm mindlessly wasting time on the computer in the evening (after I've read for educational purposes, of course) I can be improving my brain power. That's important stuff, you know.

I found this one site with a bunch of different games, lots similar to ones we played as kids, but now for grownups... Remember Memory or Mastermind? Yeah, they're here. I especially liked the guess-the-flag game, and they had some code to copy it to your blog, so here it is for you to play. Enjoy!

great quote

"Man's maker was made man that He, ruler of the stars, might nurse at His mother's breast; that the Bread might hunger, the Fountain thirst, the Light sleep, the Way be tired on its journey; that Truth might be accused of false witnesses, the Teacher be beaten with whips, the Foundation be suspended on wood; that Strength might grow weak; that the Healer might be wounded; that Life might die."

This is by Augustine on the paradox of Jesus' incarnation. I found it as a footnote in Philip Yancey's book Reaching for the Invisible God, which I am reading for my next class, Theological Overview.

finishing...

This picture I've had for 8 1/2 years. This page has been coming together for months. I finally sat down and finished it the other night. I like the journaling card, the big letters in the title and the stitching around the edge with the variegated blue thread...



I like the memories of this day better than the page! The red and black is too bold, I think. I do like the white stitching and the bleach stamped snowflakes. That was an experiment that went so-so - I added detail with a white pen after and that saved it a bit. Another one that's been in the works for a while but got finished the other night.

Blogging...

I have not posted on here since March... I did blog about my trip to Africa - that's linked on here through my profile if you're interested - but it has been a while since I've written anything. I've been thinking about blogging again lately, because I do like it - it's like journalling - makes me think and clears my head.

I wasn't sure what format I wanted to go with when I got back at it. I've been browsing some pretty cool scrapbooking blogs, but I am not into it enough to have a blog just for that. And I thought of doing one just work related for the young adults, but who would read that??

So I've decided that I will continue this blog about whatever's on my mind and just let it be a piece of me that is out there for whoever wants a glimpse into my thoughts and what I'm making and what I'm learning.

And so it begins...

the squirrel

I was sitting at my kitchen table today eating lunch and a squirrel skittered down the tree out the window. I saw him for all of a minute, but the impression I got was of a carefree little being.

It didn't seem fair! God created us to have a full abundant life, and yet (and I'm sure I'm not alone) I am down and stressed and tense and trying to DO so much... God cares for me more than he cares for a 'dumb' animal (in the sense that they are not made in his image), so I've decided (or maybe I heard?) that life for me should be as carefree and enjoyable and stress free as the squirrel's seems to be. It will be deeper, and of course there will be challenges, but life for me is meant to be abundant.

Like that squirrel - a great happy joyful life.

Going to Kenya!

A few months ago, I put in an application to go on a study tour sponsored by my school and national mission group. They were only taking two people from my school, so I tried not to think about it too much or get my hopes up, and honestly, if I wasn't selected, I would be fine with that. But it was such an amazing opportunity, I had to put my name in just in case.

I found out Friday that they accepted my application, and I'm going to Kenya! I am going to make a new blog to chronicle that, and once it's up, I'll add the link here in case you're interested in hearing all the details.

Crazy. God is pretty amazing. Not just because he gives me cool stuff, but that he offers things and trusts me with things and has a better way planned for me than I could ever design for myself.

Ecclesiastes

Reading in the book of Ecclesiastes this morning, chapter 12 strikes me as a good purpose statement for why I do what I do.

"Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, "I find no pleasure in them"... " is how it starts, and it finishes: "Of making many books there is no end and much study wearies the body. Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter; Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of every human being. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil."

I want to see young adults and youth get this now, not wait till they have kids or later to find their way back to church and to God. And I'm not harping on the judgment thing, but do you think we might live differently if we remembered this fact a little more often, that we will be judged by the good or bad that we do?

How important are small groups?

It's Wednesday night, which is 'Girl's Small Group' night, and no one showed. One I talked to; she is sick. That's legit. But it gives me the chance to write about something that I was thinking today and over the last little while. Ironic, really, because it fits right in. I was wondering about the need for small groups, and how important they really are. This one at least has had me wondering for months. I believe that Christians need spiritual connections, usually on a deeper level than you can go on a Sunday morning, in order to be growing in their faith.

What you do on your own in private - quiet time, devotions, praying - whatever you do and whatever you want to call it, is very important if you don't want your faith to be stagnant.

Going to church, and being part of the community, is also very important to growing. The being part of the community is the key, not just the showing up.

And in between those two, the individuality of faith and the corporate togetherness of faith, is what I have to program. Good grief. Here's the dilemma. Not everyone fits into the programs we do. Each person's needs are different as far as how they connect with their spiritual friends. We have a Sunday night service, geared for young adults, that meets the need for corporate worship, learning and prayer (and of course fellowship, or hanging out) in a way that young adults would relate to more than a Sunday morning. It's designed to complement, not replace Sunday mornings. And we have small groups. One for young married couples, one for guys only, one open one, and one for the ladies. Which may not exist at this point next week.

I want people to gather together once or twice a week, whatever they feel they need, and then LIVE IT the rest of the week. Spend time with friends, at work, at school, and be Christ's representative in that situation. Or instead of going to Bible Study, why don't you browse over your sermon notes for a bit so what you learned really sinks in, then either go out and be in the world, or rest up so you can be at your best when you're with people again?

Just a thought. I'm not saying Bible Studies are bad. It's just going back to the idea that often we just feed ourselves and forget about sharing that life giving food with our friends. And I'm not saying stay away just to do nothing; stay away so you can be intentional about using that time for living! If I didn't have to be here wondering if anyone was going to show up, I could be living. I would be out for coffee catching up with someone, investing in them, or on a date with my husband, investing in my marriage... If there is interest, I will be happy to go with it, but if it's just a lesser option for a Wednesday night, I'd rather call it quits.

Hard to sell a job description that is solely going out for coffee... but the reality is, each individual has different needs for their spiritual growth. We're all at a different place, doing a different pace, and aiming for the same goal, but working from different angles. So I have to know each one and help them find what they need, and I have to offer these different programs so there's something to fill those needs. Challenging, satisfying, and yeah, a lot of coffees. I'm starting to feel like my role is more that of a Spiritual Director than anything. Well, that I'd like to be that. More fulfilling than a program coordinator.

Random December

December began with me in Vancouver for the Canadian Youth Workers Convention. Highlights were seeing Ali and catching up, and hanging with Christine.

Something I need to do: TAKE MORE PICTURES!
I completely forgot to get some of me and Ali, and our visits happen way to infrequently to be forgetting to take pictures. And we just got back from the mountains, and all my pictures were taken in the van. All 5 of them. That's just wrong. Frozen fingers that can't even undo buckles are not great for holding the camera, let alone finding the button... I'll have to do something about that.

Five of us did a quick weekend trip to the mountains - stayed in a hostel in Banff and rode Lake Louise on Saturday and Sunshine on Sunday. Not quite enough snow to cover the rocks yet, and it was COLD. Other than that, it was good like a snowboarding road trip with friends.

Joke of the day - this is a laugh AT me kind of joke... So I picked up water last week and then forgot to bring the jugs in from the garage before we went away this weekend. Oops. Here's a shot of the frozen jugs thawing in my tub...

con't

The second book I finished last week was more of an accomplishment. A History of the Baptists by Robert Torbet is a fat academic piece. A text for an upcoming class, I'm not sure I would ever pick it up if it wasn't required. That said, I learned a few things.

Did you know?
That the origin of the Baptists was in reform? They protested:
- that the traditional way of doing things was NOT equal in importance to Scripture.
- that the church leader was NOT superior to the believers not in leadership.
- that God's grace CAN'T be bought, and that it's NOT through the priest.
- that good works CAN'T save you.

A few key things there. I'm happy to be a part of a group:
- that sees Scripture as truth and as the bottom line.
- that sees all believers as ministers and important parts of the body of Christ.
- that can accept God's grace freely.
- that does works because we are thankful for our salvation.

more from books

Just finished two books this week - here's the highlights.

In Search of Authentic Faith by Steve Rabey
This first was a quickie - started and finished this week. Quick because what he had to say was interesting, and he told it with some good stories, so it kept me flipping the pages. Also quick because the pages are botched. It flips from 42 to 91 and then at 138 goes back to 91... I liked that this was an overview, and I got the best of a bunch of other authors and pastors and thinkers.

A couple quotes I liked:

"... emerging leaders think Sally Morgenthaler got it right in her 1995 book Worship Evangelism: Inviting Unbelievers into the presence of God. The book argues that instead of dumbing down worship services for people who aren't Christians, churches should invite unbelievers into their periods of mystical worship, praying that they will experience something of the presence of God while they are there."

From Robert Webber's 1999 book, Ancient Future Faith: Rethinking Evangelicalism for a postmodern World: "In the twenty-first century, we will see a convergence of trends that draws from the early church with its mystery, transcendence, and the Eucharist; from the Reformation, with its centrality of the Word; from evangelicalism, with its central emphasis on Christ and strong singing, and from the contemporary church, with its emphasis on intimacy and relationships."

I'll tell you about the next book later...

Job Description

I've been working on my job description - it's been in progress for a couple of years now, since before I got hired.

Coming up with the official version is sort of making me sad - there is no room for all the things that I'm passionate about. It's a very dry academic document which will I'm sure be very helpful as they try to replace me someday, but it won't tell the new person anything about the heart of what I do and why. I understand that they will thave their own passions and ways to do things, but for me, for now, it is important to lay out why I do what I do. So here it is:

The Heart Description for this Pastor to Young Adults

To seek God's leading for the needs of this group. To PRAY for direction.
To make happen whatever needs to happen for those needs to be met.
To teach truth and provide opportunities for deeper education - to encourage people to move from milk to meat.
To instill a love of God's Word and the study of it.
To provide opportunities to pray, and opportunities to worship, using challenging and stretching experiences.
To provide retreats and missional experiences.
To equip people to be the ministers they were created to be, in every realm of their lives.
To develop a sense of community and belonging.
To build relationships, provide pastoral care and spiritual guidance; to know people and to pray for them.


The vision statement I embrace is this:
Westhill Young Adults:
A people who want to be continually in love with God,
a people immersed in prayer,
and a people with a passion to pass on their faith.


Lord, may it come to pass. Holy Spirit, breathe and move us.

Proverb

There is wisdom in thinking through what you want to say, then saying it succinctly.
Many words tire the listener, even if your point is true.

Journalling

Have you ever tried journalling? Had a time in your life where you consistently jotted down your inner most thoughts, feelings, prayers? Not for anyone's eyes but yours and God's?

I'd advise you to try it. It may not be something that works for you long term, but you won't know until you give it a try for a month or so. This morning I wrote and wrote and wrote and all the negative things I had been thinking and feeling were turned into words on a page and I could see what needed to be changed in me. I remember the truth I know and my mind unclutters, and I figure out as I write, how to change my mindset and what to do so that I am content and at peace again.

There are days where the deep breath that is writing in a journal amazes me with its power. It's almost as if God speaks to me his words through guiding my pen.

Finding the Oak Shoot

Will I ever get it?
Am I too influenced by what I read?
New ideas pour in and I agree and wonder how I can do that or adapt that into what we are doing, or radically change everything we've done so far to do that instead...

I just had a picture in my mind as I lay in bed - you know that state where your body is weary and heavy and comfortable, but your mind is wide awake and firing on all cylinders? This picture had to be written down, partly because I did not want to forget, and partly to soothe the gray cells in my head to the point where I could sleep.

I saw a yard. The background is that I have been reading for the class I'm taking, both the course notes and one of the texts, and each have provided me with images that have stuck in my head. One line in particular from tonight's reading in the text made me completely sure that our plans for the young adult ministry, while well thought out and worked through, and possibly even right, should maybe be approached in a completely differently way. I won't go into the details until I've had more of a chance to think it through, but it led to this picture. I won't go so far as to say a vision; I just think in images sometimes, and explore the possibilities.

So the yard. I am infinitely small, looking up to the great big sky, and all around are things growing, reaching up. The sky is God, and all these things are reaching and growing up to Him. So much of what is growing is grass. It is trimmed and nicely manicured, and only reaches so high. Some of it looks more like weeds - scruffy looking, but with a bloom. Some of it is attractive, but should it be nurtured, or is it really something that is going to suck the life dry, and end up withered? Some of what is growing are strong trees, that reach high, and expand, and produce new branches. I have in my care a group of people. I want for us to be a people that reaches up to God, yearning to stretch and grow. I don't want us to settle for being grass that stays safe within the trimmed limits. I don't want us to fit into a tidy box of programming with all the bases covered and nothing really happening other than staying a healthy green. I don't want us to latch onto one idea or catch phrase that is right but only part of the big picture, and then suffer from lack of the other things we need. I want us to find that sprout that is an offshoot of the oak. Something that we can start small with, but that has within it the right DNA to grow and reach closer to God than anything else. Something that will grow and multiply and become bigger than any of the parts could be alone, something that works together as one, unified in a common purpose, strong in love, and growing into the sun.

How does that WORK? What does that look like in my real job as pastor to young adults at my church? And so I pray. I have a deadline, but I do have time. It will simmer. The ideas will be discussed, options pondered, and prayed over. And God will lead. I pray we hear clearly.

never arriving - or - enjoying the journey for what it is

Have you ever noticed that life is a process? And yet, we are continually working for some end that we think we'll get or achieve. We fix up the house so it's all nice, but there's always more to be done. We take a class to learn how to do our job better, but there's always new areas to refine and develop. We read books, and whether we get them finished or not, there are others waiting to be read (not all the books I was reading last time I wrote are done, there have been others read since then, and 4 textbooks to read added to that list...)

I think I have a tendancy to get uptight about never getting it all done. I feel frazzled even when I have a few hours to work on stuff, because then I have to prioritize - is it more important to finish painting the window trim or work on my assignment? Should I work on the budget or cleaning out the clutter in the office? Then I have to coach myself - none of it is infinitely important. What is important is that I do well whatever I choose to do. If I can be balanced, it will all get worked on in time. None of it will ever get finished, but it is all character building - if I am faithful with the little things and don't neglect them completely, then I will be responsible when it comes to the big things. And I will realize that the big things are not likely to have a tidy end point either.

It's exciting when you can sit back and have a big picture perspective on things. To think not of the chores around the house, but of how successfully I have maintained a home where love is evident and our doors are open. To not think of the daily tasks at work, but the larger goals that direct what I do, and whether they are being accomplished; whether people's lives are changing and being enriched. And then it's a little bit easier to do the daily stuff that never gets finished, because I know that whatever I do, and however much I get accomplished now does make a difference in the long run.

So I go to do another task and read another book, knowing that through it I will be developed, and the world around me better somehow.

on my desk

We have a big chair in our office that I often sit in to read, especially if Sean is on the computer. It's nice to be in the same room even when we're doing different things. I was laughing at how many books I have on the go - maybe my attention span is shortening as I get older - I can't just do one at a time any more. Unless it's fiction; then I don't put it down till it's done.

The fiction that I'm reading now is just comedy fluff: Paper Moon by Linda Windsor. I had to give up on the last one I was reading, House by Ted Dekker and Frank Peretti. That was really disappointing - I am a huge Dekker fan, but this was a horror movie on paper. I'm sure it had some great spiritual parallel lines in it, but I couldn't get past the axe hammer fights while locked in the meat locker freezer parts... I'd still recommend any of Ted Dekker's other stuff. Next up for me is his new one, Showdown.

These are the non-fiction ones I'm into (what I meant to be writing about!):

Soul Shaper by Tony Jones. Exploring spirituality and contemplative practices in youth ministry. I'm finding it a good deep thirst quenching one. It's a really good summary of different approaches to Spirituality. I'm looking forward to the chapter at the end on establishing a "Rule of Life" which is "a pattern of spiritual disciplines that provides structure and direction for growth in holiness."

Soul Salsa by Leonard Sweet. 17 surprising steps for Godly living in the 21st century. He asks "How can one live a biblical faith that emerges from everyday living?" Each chapter looks at one way to live a Godly life - think the flipside of your day when you're not practicing the ancient spiritual disciplines from the above book!

Sex God by Rob Bell. Exploring the endless connections between sexuality and spirituality. It's good. I recommend it. You can borrow it when I'm done. It's refreshing; it presents the goodness and wholeness and purity of sexuality that God designed and explains why we have turned it into something bad or dirty or casual. I haven't read his last book Velvet Elvis, but that will come soon, I think.

Cure for the Common Life by Max Lucado. Living in your sweet spot. Got this one as a birthday present. Lucado is ultra positive; reading one of his books is like a warm fuzzy. I went through a phase maybe 10 years ago where I read most of what he had out, but haven't read any since. There are a couple of titles out now that I wouldn't mind reading through one day. This book attempts to teach you to Use your uniqueness, To make a big deal out of God, Every day of your life. (Yes, those caps are intentional; those are the three sections of the book.) It has a workbook section to it to help you discover your sweet spot. Not a bad book.

Growing a Healthy Church by Dann Spader and Gary Mayes. This one is about building "an effective discipling strategy for your church," and has been very useful as I'm in the midst of rethinking what we do and how we do it. That sums it up pretty good - if I try to explain any more, the nutshell will get too big... It is a great standard - written in 1991, it's not old enough to consider a classic yet, but I think it might be in that catagory. It's very solidly based on Jesus' example.

I read once that for every new book you read (like all of the above) you should read one classic. Ones on my shelf that I should read are:
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Celebration of Discipline by Richard J. Foster
Maybe someone could check up on me in a couple of months and see if I've started any of those...

So many books, so little time.

connecting with the earth

I'm in the middle of Rob Bell's book Sex God, which is about "exploring the endless connections between sexuality and spirituality." It's a good read. In one chapter he talks about how we are meant to be connected with God, connected with each other, connected with the earth, but how our reality too often is disconnection with all those things, and even a disconnection with ourselves.

Last week I decided, partly because it needed doing, and partly because what I read was mulling around in my brain, to spend the first part of the day when I got home from walking the kid to school, in the yard. I never did get all the leaves off the ground last fall. So I've been doing two bags a day, sometimes more, but not trying to be a superhero and get it all done at once. The following is what I wrote in my journal this morning:

I started the day once again outside raking leaves. Half an hour in the yard reconnecting with the earth has been really good for me. It's taking time for something that usually never gets high enough on the priority list to get done. I'm recognizing and responding to my need to be in nature - in your creation. You commanded us in Genesis to look after the land. I have my name on a title deed saying I am owner (as much as we can own land) of a small parcel of it - and I spend more time tending my man-made house and going out then I do caring for this small patch of nature you entrusted to me. And it doesn't take time away from my other stuff, in fact it fuels me to do it better. I get exercise and fresh air and a sense of peace that the world is not resting on my shoulders. Then I can tackle my tasks with the proper attitude: to do my best and not stress about it!

two thoughts

I was studying in Galatians today - 5:13-15. The gist of it is that we are called to be free, right? But we are not supposed to use this freedom, this not being bound in by a bunch of rules, as a go ahead to indulge. We should instead love our neighbor as ourselves. This fulfills the spirit of all the old laws, anyway, right? We are free just to love as we should, without being hemmed in. I thought this was pretty cool because I've been pondering the two greatest commandments as I think about the vision for our young adult ministry: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself.

The second thing, which in part lead to the first thing, was a way to study your Bible. Instead of reading it through in a year or whatever and just plowing through it, (like I used to do), I am now taking it little by little and getting as much as I can out of one book or topic before moving on. This is what I've been trying to do this year, and last night I read an article that made that process really simple. I thought it was worth passing on.

Tim Elmore is the guy that wrote this. He says he reads a section (one thought or idea - sometimes a chapter, sometimes less), then writes 3 paragraphs:
ONE TIME - a paragraph paraphrasing what was happening to the original audience
ALL TIME - a paragraph defining the all time, universal principle found in that text
MY TIME - a paragraph describing what my personal application should be to the truth.

Simple and catchy enough to remember. I challenge you to try it.

a thought from our prayer room

I picked up a small candle from the pile. One of many. This one was a little dented around the edges, and the wick was a black stub. Perfect, I thought. The candle was supposed to symbolize me - I was supposed to light it from one of the three large candles symbolizing the trinity and place it around them, reflecting on how God's light in my life should and will make a difference in the world around me.

I'm not starting with a perfect untouched little tealight - I have lots of life left, but there's some that's been used up. I've got the marks and scars that show that life hasn't always been fair or kind. But that wick will still light - isn't it true that it is easier to light a candle once it's already been lit? Once you've seen the power of God in your life, it's easier to give him that space again.

Another parallel. So I set my candle down on an overturned metal tray - it was a beat up old christmas one, so we were using the shiny flipside. It, too, was scuffed and there were dents in the edges. Just like my neighborhood. It's not the prettiest. But God loves the people around me. And for now, that's where He has placed me. And that's where my light will shine. The bent and used tealight shines on the old scuffed tray with a light that is pure and that can't be changed. It is just like the big candle it was lit from. The flame is the same.

Amazing how something so simple can mean so much and sink so deep.

I picked up another one to symoblize my kid - to pray that her life would be a shining light on our street and wherever she is. The one I picked up that time was unscuffed and pure, but sitting beside mine on the tray, we cast more light together. More of that same flame.

The Jesus Prayer

I've had this book "Soul Shaper" by Tony Jones for years, and have read the first couple of chapters, but it's one of those that you can't just read, you have to let it simmer in you for a while. But I've picked it up again, and what I've read this week is the chapter on the Jesus Prayer.

Breathing in: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God; breathing out: Have mercy on me, a sinner.

The ancients would do this thousands of times a day, keeping track on a prayer rope. They didn't have clocks; I suppose we could set aside 15 minutes or half an hour to start with. I haven't been keeping track of number of repititions or time - I'm doing it while I'm driving, while I'm doing dishes, while I'm sweeping. Here are my thoughts as I start experimenting with this practice.

The purpose is partly to cry out for mercy, reminding us that we need it. Also, to practice praying without ceasing. (1 Thess. 5:17) It becomes more possible. The book recommends a quiet, dim room, where you can focus on allowing your thoughts / prayers to connect with your heart. Concentrating on that should guard you from distractions. Focusing on the words of the prayer, you pray from the heart and in the heart.

I think my first problem is that I have jumped in too flippantly. And yet, praying constantly as I do my daily tasks is not a bad thing. I want to add some quiet alone time where I can concentrate and do nothing else. It's supposed to flow to where it is on your breath day in and day out.

Another thought - there has to be a balance between praying this way and praying for others. Is my connection with God more important than my duty of praying for others? I'd say yes, but I can't neglect that either. I imagine that it might actually help, in that I'll be able to concentrate in prayer longer and deeper than I do now.

speaking of doing something where you are...

Love is on the move.
Mercy is on the move.
God is on the move.

Preach it Bono!

Have you ever read Walk On: The Spiritual Journey of U2 by Steve Stockman?
I thought it was great.

God lives in North Central

So I'm trying to be more involved in my community, you know, the whole missional thing - I don't have to drive to work at a church in the suburbs to be a Christian. I mean, really - I sometimes think I should quit my job so I can do a better job living as a Christian. (That's a fleeting thought - I know God put me there for a reason, and that He has designed me for this at this time...)

Being Christ's love in my community, being a good neighbor, has been something I've wanted for a long time. I've got great plans in my head. I'm just not that good at it yet. My brilliant husband said something the other day as I was talking about what I could do in this community, and it hit me that he's right - I don't have to start something new or add something else - what do I already do? I started walking our girl to school March 1 instead of driving (save the environment and get exercise to boot - it's just too cold here in the winter...) and instead of just walking her to the gate of the school yard and then turning around and going home, I decided to walk all the way up with her and stick around until the bell rings. That way I am present in the community - the school is a huge part of my neighborhood. Who are my neighbors? Try everyone in the school down the street! I know most of the kids in her class already, but it's good to keep up with them, and I'm getting to know the teachers on supervision. It's good just to be there. And God affirmed this decision of mine the very first day I walked all the way - the bell rang and the kids came running and Austin pushed Jamie who fell into Tatianna, who hit her head on the brick wall... I know Tatianna well, she comes to church with us most Sundays. So I wrapped my arms around her and tried to help in a mom sort of way and reassure the kids who were pointing fault that accidents happen, and then they all went in and I walked home with a grin on my face. I got to be God's arms there that morning.

Madeline came home from school that day and told me that Tatianna said, "Boy, I'm sure glad Carolyn was there - Madeline, tell your mom thank you for me!" Aww.

And today I walked home with another mom who I've seen but never talked to before. We talked all the way to my place and stood on the sidewalk talking. God opens up the community when you open your arms and heart and eyes.

Feeling like God is stirring,
Carolyn

It's so simple

The summary first:
Just love Him!

Why that is the big thought of the week:

1 - from Bible Study - my fulfillment must come from God, not my husband or my daughter. I can not expect them to fulfill me because I will be disappointed. They are only human, and their purpose in life is not solely to make me happy.

2 - from class - it's a leadership class, and the current assignment is a self analysis. Last night's "Ah ha!" was that no matter how much I change and improve, I will never be satisfied, content or FULFILLED in myself.

3 - from reading the Bible at breakfast with my kid - What is the greatest commandment? #1: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. #2: Love your neighbor as yourself.

What do I do to be fulfilled?
Love God.
What do I do to be a great wife?
Love God and love my husband.
What do I do to be a great mom?
Love God and love my daughter.
What do I do to be a better leader?
Love God, and love my young adults.
What is my purpose in life?
To love God.

Who I am
is who He made me to be.
On purpose.
(So I don't need to try to fix myself or change myself!)

And my purpose
is to love Him.

Love Him.
It's freeing.