The Importance of an Encouraging Word

**NOTE** I first published this last weekend while in Winnipeg for Thanksgiving, using the new iPad mini we got when we switched banks, and somehow it published to an old church blog I wrote while working at Westhill, instead of this one.  I just noticed now when I published the Anniversary post and saw that it come up all wrong.  Oops!  Sorry for the blog silence!!  

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An intentional pause, thought, and putting pen to paper... You can never tell the results that will come of making an effort to send that note, but I'm pretty sure that the effort is never a waste.

I was chatting with a friend the other day and she was talking about her daughter's upcoming birthday and how she thought she might ask a few friends to write her notes of encouragement or blessing. Count me in - I love writing, letters, encouraging others - and I wondered, as I sat with my Bible picking verses for this friend, why don't I do this more often?

My kid had a rough time this week, and in the mail one day came a card full of love and encouragement - a real help and support.

So my goal is to try to notice who might need encouragement, and to carve out time to make that happen. 

Is there anyone you can think of that could use a bit of lifting up? Don't let the opportunity pass!

How to Feel Good (and a Free Printable)

Hi, friends.

I just wanted to send you a little encouragement today.  This time of year when you may feel like you've been stuck in the snow or in the same routine or the same problems for too long, it helps to be reminded of how to get back up.  These are things you probably already know, but reminders are good.  Reminders are needed.

1. Go Outside.  In our neck of the woods, the weather is cooperating - all four of us got outside to play in the snow Sunday afternoon, and it may have been the highlight of my weekend.  Great temperatures, lots of new fresh snow (that will be gone soon!) and the family all together?  Perfect.  This morning I was outside with the boy for an hour, too - not quite as entertaining as with all of us, but still, fresh air and a little unforced exercise?  So good for you.

2. Read Uplifting Words.  Do you browse blogs? Try (in)courage for a starting place - lots of good contributors there.  Paper more your style? I'm reading The 4:8 Principle by Tommy Newberry, which is based on Philippians 4:8, which I printed out a while ago and put up on my wall - it's good to be taken deeper into HOW to think on those things.

3. Think Positively.  This stems from that verse and that book.  I believe we don't pay attention enough to what we think, and allow negative thoughts to occupy places they shouldn't in our brains.  What we think really does make a difference in our moods, our attitudes and efforts in relationships; what we teach ourselves to think about today really does shape our future. Read that again:

4. Focus on Your Family.  Invest in Your Relationships.  'Hermit-ing' is okay sometimes, but don't stay there for too long.  Make the effort to get out with a friend.  Plan a playdate.  Pick up the phone.  Go out with the man without the kids.  Start good routines of good dinner table conversations.  Pick some questions that you ask each other each week. (Thanks, Pastor Darren!)  As your relationships improve, you will notice yourself feeling more up.

5. Accept Your Season.  I sat down to write mostly about this today, but then my topic morphed.  And I found this post by Kristen Welsh which said it perfectly, anyway.  I have been aware lately that this is the least involved I have been in groups or ministries or serving... and often remind myself that looking after my kids is the greatest service I can be doing right now.  No one needs me more than they do.  Time-wise, what I do all day with Nolan and how I am training him is shaping his whole life to come.  I am doing all I need to be.  No guilt. 

May you feel uplifted, encouraged, accepted and loved today.  You are a beautiful, wonderful, creation and I hope you believe that in your deepest heart.

If you would like a copy of that print, I would love to share it.  **Updated!  Click here to go to a new post where you can click and download instead of emailing to ask!  Yay for new technology! **

DIY vs Pay for the Professionals!

Sometimes you can do-it-yourself, if you have some training or experience and you're a handy guy.

Like building a shed:

Or renovating a kitchen:

Different angle, but you can see the changes.

Or basement:

Sometimes you can do-it-yourself, if you have the understanding of how it all works.

Sometimes you need someone else to do it.

Like when the sewer breaks and the tree needs to come down:

Sometimes you need to pay someone else, even if you think that it should be your job.

Like fixing unhealthy ways of thinking.  Sometimes it takes a stranger with the right questions to get at the root of your issues and help you work your way back to healthy thinking.  Maybe that's all I'll say about that: pay for the counseling.

Like fixing bad habits when there are multiple ways to address the issue and you're not on the same page and you just want someone else to tell you what's best for all involved.  (Thank you Baby Sleep Site for getting us to the point where N is now {mostly} sleeping through the night!)

Don't be afraid, parents, to ask for help, to pay for help, if you feel like you're over your head.  Parenting is not something we've trained for or been educated in; even if you're great at most of it, there may still be things beyond you.  Get the help you need.  Don't let the thought that it's your job to fix it get in the way of getting the job done well, in the most healthy way.

It's okay to ask for help.

Marriage Advice

One of the things I would like to aim to do is read one marriage book and one parenting book per year.  Each year you will be facing different issues in those relationships (especially the parent-child one as they keep growing!) and you might find helpful advice or practical suggestions for those specific areas.  Getting a fresh perspective and taking the time to actually focus on how you can better those relationships is never a waste of time, even if it is not to fix a specific problem.

I just finished a book called Love Busters by Willard F Harley Jr that was recommended by my mother-in-law.  I didn't find it to be a fantastic read simply because most of what he was addressing were not issues for us, but of course good to be aware of.  What I did find interesting, because I like to think in pictures, was his idea of each person having a love account, like a bank account, with us.  As they do things that we appreciate, or that make us feel loved, they are 'depositing love units' into their account.  As they do things that annoy us or disrespect us, they are 'making withdrawals'.  The more love units, the more in love you feel, the fewer there are, the less you feel in love.  Interesting.

For your consideration today I thought I'd share just the main points of his books.  Give you something to mull over if you are so inclined.

This guy is also the author of His Needs Her Needs, which he sums up in the back chapters of this book, and which by meeting, you will be building up your account.  Everyone's mix of their top needs may be different, but these are the most common:

His Needs:

• Sexual Fulfillment
• Recreational Companionship
• Physical Attractiveness
• Domestic Support
• Admiration

Her Needs:

• Affection
• Conversation
• Honesty & Openness
• Financial Support
• Family Commitment

The top Love Busters that drain those accounts are:

• Selfish Demands
• Disrespectful Judgements
• Angry Outbursts
• Dishonesty
• Annoying Habits
• Independent Behavior

May you have a wonderful Wednesday, and may all your accounts be full.

Ten Ways to Support Your Camp

Camp has always been an important part of my life, from when I first went as a child until now.  I believe in the work they do, and while I am not as involved now as when I lived out at camp all summer, there are always ways to support the ministry of camping.  Here are a few I came up with - maybe you can add to the list.

1. Join the board.
If you've got extra time year round, there are all types who are needed on camp boards.  Organized types, handy types, mechanical types, creative types... there would be a place for you.

2. Sew costumes.
Or help out with whatever specifics needs come up.  We had a fun sewing bee a few weeks ago sewing Narnia tunics and cloaks for this summer.

3. Get a list of the staff and pray for them by name.
Start early and pray for preparation details, for the staff selection and the campers to come.  Pray through the summer; maybe your camp sends out a prayer request email.

4. Take out cookies for the staff lounge.
Working at camp is an awesome job, but it is also one of the most draining.  Finding a made with love treat on your break time is a huge encouragement.

5. Write the director an encouraging note.
Encouragement is usually needed and always welcome.  Who doesn't love getting mail?  And when it's sent just to be uplifting, even better.

6. Volunteer to cook or nurse or do maintenance or speak for a week.
Camps need these volunteers to run; you might find it to be the best week of your summer.

7. Go out to a work day.
Even a few hours can make a difference, and there are usually jobs that anyone can do.  We're heading out to one this weekend, and  I expect the kid to be in there getting things done - it's pretty special for a kid to go to camp knowing they helped with some of the behind the scenes stuff.

8. Be on the planning committee for a fundraiser.
If you're asked to be involved in a special project, try and make the time for it.

9. Sponsor a child to go.
You can do this through your church, if it's a denominational camp, or through the camp itself; if it's KBK / KLC, you can sponsor the staff who will be doing a walk-a-thon next weekend to raise money for camper sponsorships.

10. Spread the word.
Send camp brochures to school with your kid to send home with their friends.  Add a note for their parents with the week your kid is going and your number if they want to know more about it.

What are some other ways to support a camp?

Things that Matter

I like to blog about all kinds of things, but when I can pass on things that matter, things that might help you in your day, in your life, in your seeking for God and his Kingdom; those are the posts I am happiest to write.

So today I thought I'd share a few sites that are inspiring, helpful and encouraging.  May you find some gems within them that will make the kingdom come richer in your life today.

A Holy Experience - Ann Voskamp writes heartwrenchingly beautiful words, honest words that acknowledge struggles, but always end up facing the Father and offering hope.  She lives and writes a thankful life.  I've written about her before and recommended her book; I get daily emails with her blog updates, and they are one of the few things in my inbox that I read faithfully.  I've been meaning for a while now to blog about her Ten Point Manifesto for Joyful Parenting - I printed it off and need to get into the habit of reading it every morning!

Inspired to Action - the introduction that Kat writes about this blog says "Inspired To Action is dedicated to practically helping moms develop the habits and skills they need to effectively manage their homes and raise children who are prepared to change the world."  She's got an ebook called Maximize Your Mornings that's worth a read, and if you're into twitter, they've got a morning community to help you start your day off right.

(in)courage - those first two are individual blogs; (in)courage is a site with a number of contributers.  Many are authors themselves, but (in)courage is a community, and all the members are able to write for it. Check this one out - I'm betting you'll find encouragement of some sort here!

May you be blessed and encouraged and strengthened today.