Wednesday, February 06, 2013

Marriage Advice

One of the things I would like to aim to do is read one marriage book and one parenting book per year.  Each year you will be facing different issues in those relationships (especially the parent-child one as they keep growing!) and you might find helpful advice or practical suggestions for those specific areas.  Getting a fresh perspective and taking the time to actually focus on how you can better those relationships is never a waste of time, even if it is not to fix a specific problem.

I just finished a book called Love Busters by Willard F Harley Jr that was recommended by my mother-in-law.  I didn't find it to be a fantastic read simply because most of what he was addressing were not issues for us, but of course good to be aware of.  What I did find interesting, because I like to think in pictures, was his idea of each person having a love account, like a bank account, with us.  As they do things that we appreciate, or that make us feel loved, they are 'depositing love units' into their account.  As they do things that annoy us or disrespect us, they are 'making withdrawals'.  The more love units, the more in love you feel, the fewer there are, the less you feel in love.  Interesting.

For your consideration today I thought I'd share just the main points of his books.  Give you something to mull over if you are so inclined.

This guy is also the author of His Needs Her Needs, which he sums up in the back chapters of this book, and which by meeting, you will be building up your account.  Everyone's mix of their top needs may be different, but these are the most common:

His Needs:
  • Sexual Fulfillment
  • Recreational Companionship
  • Physical Attractiveness
  • Domestic Support
  • Admiration

Her Needs:
  • Affection
  • Conversation
  • Honesty & Openness
  • Financial Support
  • Family Commitment

The top Love Busters that drain those accounts are:
  • Selfish Demands
  • Disrespectful Judgements
  • Angry Outbursts
  • Dishonesty
  • Annoying Habits
  • Independent Behavior

May you have a wonderful Wednesday, and may all your accounts be full.


Anonymous said...

Have You Filled a Bucket Today? by Carol McCloud is suppose to be a good book that teaches how to encourage and build each other up. It is for kids and is a big thing in the schools to teach children to care and build respect for others.

Your post reminded of this book that goes into the world around us and shows us how we can make relationships in general better.


Carolyn Ward said...

Thanks, Leanne! I'll have to check this one out.