I am speaking this weekend at a Women's Wellness Day at my home church in Winnipeg. The theme is Winter Wonderland, and I get to speak about how to deal with and get through the winter seasons of life. Yes, there will be kleenex handy - I hope I can get through it without using a whole box. :)
I am sitting here this morning going over my notes, and I'm looking at something I wrote and shared in church as a living sermon illustration for a message on suffering. This was 5 years ago - 3 years after Neil passed away. I thought I would share it with you today, and for those of you who will be at the Women's Wellness Day, this might be a bit of a sneak peek.
What Have I Learned
...About Myself?
I have learned
that I can do anything. It’s only
through God who gives me the strength, but he does, and I can.
I have learned
that the faith I have held onto my whole life is real, and with every testing
that it faces it gets deeper.
I have learned
that I am not in control of my own life, that God is, and that He knows what
He’s doing. He’s got plans that I need
to fit into, and He keeps shaping me through everything I go through so that He
can use me for the next thing, and the next thing.
I have learned
that my job is the same as it’s always been – to keep my eyes on Him and obey.
I have learned
that God has plans for me. He has
directed and shaped me, my whole life, for who I am now, and who I am going to
be. I had always thought that I would go
to Bible College and get a degree, but I never
had any real career goals (I still don’t!).
I took what interested me and ended up with a BA in Christian Ministry,
figuring whatever I did with my life, I would be involved in a church somewhere
and could use that education. I have
used it in many ways, and now I even have a real job that is directly related
to that training. I firmly believe that
God gave me the interests He did because He sees the big picture, and knows
where we will be and what He will want from us then.
I have learned
that who I am did not end three years ago.
Tragedy shapes and changes you, but it should not define you.
I have learned
that relationships matter. I value my
alone time, but God keeps telling me that I’m not allowed to be a hermit. I have to let people in to help me and
minister to me, so that God can bless them, and I need to be involved with
people so that I can minister to them and show God’s love.
…About Life,
I have learned
that it’s ok not to understand the reasons behind things.
I have learned
that everyone dies. That everyone will
lose someone close to them. That grief
and loss are a part of living. That
death doesn’t have to be feared.
I have learned
that there is always someone else who has gone through the same thing.
I have learned
that you don’t have to have gone through the same thing to be able to comfort
someone.
I have learned
that death doesn’t define life – there will still be things to make you laugh.
I have learned
that there is always balance between grief and joy, good circumstances and bad
circumstances – sometimes we swing more one way or the other, but we never stay
there.
And what have I
learned about God?
I have learned that that our faith is founded
on something, someone, that is real and solid that can handle anything that we
are asked to go through.
I have learned
that He is faithful to what He has promised. He is unchanging and that means
reliable. We’ve heard His promises and
they don’t always get tested until we face something hard. But when you do, they prove to be solid.
I have learned
that He comforts.
I have learned that
He heals.
I have learned
that He provides. I never once wondered
how we’d make it.
I have learned
that although we’ve been taught that He is invisible, if we open our eyes in a
new way, we can see Him very clearly in His body. We the church are his body, and He has cared
for me in very real ways using His body – the church. Using you.
I needed help with things around the house, and He did them, looking a
lot like some of the men in this room. I
needed to eat, and He fed us from your kitchens. I needed hugs, and His arms felt a lot like
yours.
I have learned
that He uses times of tragedy to build community. People are generous and sympathetic and think
of something other then themselves – tragedies bring out the good in
people. He also uses them to cause
people to think deeply about their own lives.
I have learned
that he never gives you more than you can bear – He gives you the strength as
you need it.
I have learned
that he is gentle. He gives you little
bits to deal with as you are able, and doesn’t expect you to go through it all
at once. It’s aggravating in a way,
because you think you’re doing so well, and then something else hits you, but
it’s God’s way of spacing it out so you’re not overwhelmed. People say time heals, but God made time, and
it’s one of the tools He uses as He helps you get through the next thing.
I have learned
that God is patient. He knows that we
are just human; He’s the One that made us the way we are.
Those are some of
the things I have learned as I’ve experienced God’s sustaining grace.
